The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
where am i from again
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
