I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize