I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
