a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
