He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
