You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
