you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
