Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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