Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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