Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
love makes seman taste better
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
