ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Farmville is her only friend.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
