My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
