She is in my trunk
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
