last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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