I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
