Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
