Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
