She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize