why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
