She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
