she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
