im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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