just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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