The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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