Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
