My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Drunk is not a location!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
