Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
that may or may not have been my penis.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
