I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
