Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
