That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
