What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
