well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
