I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
