Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
