I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
