That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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