Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
