Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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