Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
