So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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