i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
