NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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