:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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