Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
In America we eat man semen.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
