So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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