I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
