There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Can I color on your dick again?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
