His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
