This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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