Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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