There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
