Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize