I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
