You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She needs sedatives and a leash
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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