Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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