Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
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Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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