my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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