What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
accomplished twins. life is a go
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
