please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
