the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
