I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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