You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we're chasing vodka with high fives
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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