her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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