Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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