She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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