I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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