Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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