i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
