There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
