I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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